


Deserve

by justahopelessssromantic



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justahopelessssromantic/pseuds/justahopelessssromantic
Summary: An Angel Reyes imagine requested from my tumblr and inspired by the song Deserve by Christina Aguilera
Relationships: Angel Reyes/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Deserve

Breakfast in the mornin', laughing over pancakes. Smell the coffee burnin', forget all of the mistakes that we made. On a Tuesday when you mentioned that she called you?

The smell of burnt coffee filled the room as you sat on the counter swinging your legs back and forth, smiling on at your boyfriend, your mouth watering both from the pancakes he was so expertly flipping and the exposed inked up muscular flesh of his bare torso.

Taking the freshly made pancakes he stacked them atop a couple of plates haphazardly as he handed you your plate. 

“Mmmm,” you sighed, inhaling the sweet scent from the food, “I think you are forgetting something,” You teased, your pancakes missing your favorite topping.

“Right,” He chuckled, reaching into the fridge and pulling out the can of whipped cream. He swaggered back over to you, a smirk on his face, “You know I can think of a much better use for this,” He shook the can, settling himself between your legs. 

“I bet you can, but for you now...,” You held your plate up eagerly towards him. 

“Uh-uh” He said shaking his head, his eyes darkening as he licked his lips, “Open.” He ordered. 

He tilted your chin up with his thumb and forefinger of his free hand as you opened your mouth obediently. He inhaled sharply biting his lip, thinking of all the things you could do with that mouth.

Eyes sparkling you looked into his, patiently waiting for your sweet treat, relishing in the fact that you knew exactly what this was doing for him.

Never breaking eye contact he sprayed the cold contents of the can into your mouth, the whipped cream quickly overflowing your mouth causing you to laugh as you attempted to swallow, making a mess.

Angel couldn’t help himself and laughed with you. Grabbing a towel off the counter he gently wiped the excess of your face before cupping your face in his hands, leaning in to kiss you. 

Fuck how did he deserve this? How did he deserve you? His mind began to wander.

Hopping off the counter you grabbed the can and made your way to the table grabbing a fork and smacking him on the ass on the way, “You gonna join me?”

Caught up in his own self doubt and depreciation he barely heard you. Angel stared out the window watching the birds fly to and from the birdfeeder. The devil on his shoulder picked at his insecurities so expertly spitting lies into his mind. He didn’t deserve you, your love, or this life. He didn’t deserve to be happy or to feel wanted, like you made him. He was a fuck up and sooner or later when it was too late to save you from his destruction he would break you. 

“You remember that hang around at the club the other night?” He self sabotaged before he could even realize what he was doing.

You looked up from your plate to his back, “Yeah?” You replied hesitantly not sure where this is going. Of course you remembered her because she practically forced herself onto your man. Your jealousy skyrocketed that night causing you to very publicly take Angel out back to make it well known to anyone around who he belonged to.

“She called me the other night,” He continued in his destructive behavior as he turned around to face you, “Sent some pictures.” 

Now, why you gotta go and do that?  
It wasn't necessary. You run your mouth when it's unnecessary.

The previous lightness in the air completely dissipated at the words that just poured out of his mouth. Another fine moment burning down in flames as had happened so many times before.

You slammed your fork down on the table with a loud clank, causing him to flinch. You stared down at your plate of food jaw clenched as you contemplated on what to do with this information.

Everything was going so nicely there was no reason that you could fathom for why he would need to go and ruin it like he had.

Maybe I'm too sensitive. And I find the truth scary.

The truth was just like Angel thought he didn’t deserve you, you also felt like you didn’t deserve him. There were all these beautiful wonderful women who were around him, who would give everything to be with your man and all that did was feed your insecurities. You felt as if you had nothing on them. He could easily have whoever he wanted whenever he wanted and you didn’t know why he chose to stick with you. There were so many better options out there for him. You didn’t deserve to call this wonderful man yours.

He deserved better than what you could give him.

Sometimes I don't think I deserve you. So I say some fucked up shit just to hurt you. But you know I do it all 'cause I love you. So, baby, tell me I'm the one that deserves you.

“You know I can have any girl I want,” he twisted the knife, “You think they’re bad around me when you are at the clubhouse? You should see them when you’re not there, baby.” 

He picked at your fears, feeding your insecurities even more. This toxic pattern had happened again and again but the two of you never seemed to learn.

“Is that what you want?! A whore?!” You screamed, throwing a towel at him, and abruptly standing up, the legs of the chair screeching across the linoleum floor, “Then by all means go for it! Don’t let me stand in your way you piece of shit!”

He stormed up to you getting in your face, “You think you're special?! Better than them?! Well I got news for you querida, you’re just like them! Just another puta!” He spat, the words burning in his mouth but he was too fired up to care or think about the things he was saying.

You were in a similar state, the rage fueling all the cruel and fucked up shit you were both spitting at the other, “Fuck you Angel! Like you’re all that yourself! You’re just a selfish cocky asshole!”

“Yeah? Then why the fuck are you still here?! If I’m such an asshole why don’t you just leave already?!” He yelled, nostrils flaring.

Do I?

Put me on the jury. I will take the blame here. Tell the judge I'm guilty of instilling you with fear, by tellin' you I'm leaving. When you know that I don't mean it.

“You know what Angel?! I’m done! You want me gone? Then fine. I’m leaving!” You threatened not for the first time in your relationship and probably not the last either. 

He panicked at your words, fear gripping him at the thought of losing you. The weight of everything that had been said with such fervor between the two of you finally hitting. 

Now, why I gotta go and say that?

You flinched at the pained expression of his face, there and gone so quickly that anybody else would have missed it, instantly regretting everything you said. 

There you went again, saying stupid shit to hurt each other, pouring salt in the other’s wounds.

It's only temporary. Whenever we fight, it's only temporary.

The two of you have been down this road before. You really were your worst enemies, always starting unnecessary fights due to your feelings of inadequacy. 

But every time you fought it was only temporary, you always managed to calm down and make up before. This time was no different, right?

It's passive-aggressive. When you say that you don't need me.

“I don’t need you.” He lied, “I won't stop you,” he challenged you to do it, to finally leave him once and for all. Every time in the past you never made it past the door. Once you packed up a bag and everything but you could never make it out. Still even knowing this, that the chances of you actually going were very slim, he still got just as terrified about losing you every time you threatened to go.

He prayed this was another one of those times. That you wouldn’t listen to the bullshit coming out of his mouth. It was like his words had a mind of their own. 

But you know what we got together is real special. Now why you wanna go and lose that, boy?

You stared at each other, chests heaving becoming more even as your tempers started to cool down. Neither one of you wanted to lose the other. This relationship you had was special, you weren’t going to find this kind of love and passion in another partner. 

So why were you always doing this same dance? 

Always flirting with the possibility of losing each other, desperately trying to drive the other person away afraid of truly hurting them beyond repair in the end, never feeling good enough to call them yours. 

Let's pause for a moment before this commotion takes over. I'm sorry, let's fix this.

He cautiously extended his hand out brushing a strand of hair out of your face, your body almost crumbling under his touch. You brought your hand up as well placing it to the side of his face, his beard prickling against your soft skin, he sighed against your warm touch. Your facial expressions softened as you stared at each other, reading each other perfectly. 

“I’m sorry,” You both said at the same time, resulting in a half hearted chuckle from both of you.

“I know it's fucked, but the things I say, I only say them because I love you so fuckin’ much, querida.” He murmured.

“And you don’t feel like you deserve me so you're trying to push me away.” You finished for him, “I don’t feel like I deserve you either Angel.”

“I’m so scared to hurt you (Y/N), but damn I really don’t want to lose you,” He said pressing his forehead against you. Your lips barely not touching, “You’re right, I am selfish.”

“You deserve me Angel,” you whispered softly, his heart sighing with your words of affirmation.

“We deserve each other, querida.” He matched your soft tone, eyes closed as you just held each other close. 

Sometimes we can't kick the habit of being dramatic. It's almost becoming a sickness.

You didn’t know how to break this toxic pattern the two of you so often fell into. The both of you were hot headed and full of insecurities that the fights and arguments came easily to you. It was almost as if it was becoming your sickness and you weren’t sure how to cure it.

And maybe there was no cure, it was just going to be a permanent resident in your relationship. But even with all the fights and arguments at the end of the day you loved him and he loved you and that was enough for the two of you. 

You deserved each other, in all the good and the bad. You knew each other better than anyone else ever would, and there was no one out there who would be able to handle your shit and he his. 

You leaned up into him, closing the small gap between the two of you, kissing each other tenderly.

So, baby, tell me I'm the one that deserves you.


End file.
